Year: 2011

Tenant Headaches…

Closing time! (Insert bad 90’s music here.) But, wait, let’s back up a few feet and I’ll tell you all about the fun times with the previous tenants.

If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, you may have seen my recent ranting about the tenants that refused to leave before we could close. To summarize, there were three units being occupied when we first looked at the place. Two legal units and… one questionable basement unit. Fast forward to our home inspection. The owner and the basement occupants have moved out and only the tenants in the first story unit are left (all eight of them). We were assured that they would be gone by closing. Except that the date for closing came and went and they were still there. We received all sorts of excuses from the listing agent. “They couldn’t possibly move into an unpainted apartment!” Or, “They can’t get a truck before Saturday!”

In quiet (or not so quiet) desperation, I Googled “bought short-sale tenants won’t leave”. The forums came back with some interesting ideas, but the best idea was the Cash for Keys concept. Basically, we would bribe them to move out so we could close (and not be out a chunk of money while losing the place completely).  I called our agent three days before the final deadline and offered this solution. She passed it along to the listing agent with the deadline of 5:30pm on Friday.

So, we strolled by the house at 5:30pm on that Friday. And guess what? They were packing up and looking like they were moving. (Yay!) But, they weren’t even close to being done actually moving. (#$@*^!) We talked briefly to the listing agent who said that they would be out that night and the place would be empty by Monday’s closing. With this tiny bit of hope in our minds, we left and went home.

An hour later we receive a call from our agent. “They want the money.” WHAT? Umm, they weren’t moved out by the deadline. “The listing agent is making the argument that since they weren’t living there anymore that they were moved out.” That’s nice, but no dice, people. They had to be out by 5:30pm or the money was off the table. She agreed with us and that was that. Or… so we thought.

The next day another call from our agent. “They are threatening to leave the place filled with their junk and garbage unless we give them some money.” At this point I am not sure what to say, so I hand the phone to Matt. He tells our concerned, but excellent agent that we aren’t giving them a single cent. She’s worried about garbage but we can handle garbage. We just can’t handle inheriting disgusting, ignorant people. So long as there wasn’t a single person in the house, we were prepared to change the locks with a mountain of garbage in the house.

Happy Ending! It turns out that the listing agent and the owner paid people from across the alley to haul the garbage out so when we closed the place was mostly garbage free. They aren’t happy about it (and tried to get money from their lawyer at the closing), but hey, it’s their problem. After we closed then it becomes our problem. And, it has definitely become our problem.

No Guts, No Glory

Welcome to our new house! My wife and I just bought a hundred-year-old two flat in Chicago, in the neighborhood of Logan Square. The house… well what can I say about the house? It’s a dump. We closed a week ago, on Monday, June 20th, 2011. Since then I’ve been humming to myself “Everything’s/Completely Wrong” and laughing just into the psychotic register. So what have we done, and what are we doing? In fact, who are we? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself and I should back up. Let me start over.

Sarah and Matt at Closing

Hi, my name’s Matt, and this is my wife, Sarah. We got married in September of 2009, and we’re expecting a baby this December. I work in IT and have no formal training doing construction, carpentry, or home renovation.  I have, however, done a bit of home remodeling on my previous home and at friends’ houses. They’re still friends, so I can’t be monstrous at it, right?

Sarah graduated last year from DePaul and is interning there on Psychology studies, hoping to get into a graduate program starting next year. She also has no formal training at the skilled trades but has done some building with her family over the years.

We now live in a little two-bedroom condo in Rogers Park, a neighborhood on the far north side of Chicago. For a while now we’ve eyed a house and the promise of more room, more options, and more opportunity. The housing market crashed and left us stuck with a condo we couldn’t sell. We tried for the last year or so, but finally decided to buy a house anyway and just rent the condo. We’ve been watching home improvement and DIY shows and got it into our heads that the only way to afford a nice house in a good neighborhood and be able to sell it down the road was if we did it ourselves. Only time will tell if we’re on to something, or just fools.

Our new home

We found a short sale two-flat on a beautiful, quiet, tree-lined street full of nice houses in an “up and coming” neighborhood. We bought the crappiest house on the block and we’re going to try to make it nice, but we’ve got our work cut out for us. Right now, the place is roach and rat-infested, stinks of animal urine, mold, and who knows what else. It’s sagging to the back, the roof is wrong, the toilets don’t work, the kitchens are awful, the foundation support columns include load-bearing beer cans, and everything is filthy, disgusting, and done wrong.

When we take down something terrible, we just peel back another layer of the onion of wrong. I cannot explain how completely, utterly, fiendishly stupid the previous owners were, but in making this site, I will attempt to anyway. From the double-pane windows that they put drywall screws into (breaking the seal) to the thermostat cord dangling from a second story window, the surprises never seem to stop.

If you’ve got the stomach for us, follow us as we explore the trials and little victories of slowly converting a complete disaster two-flat into a (hopefully) gorgeous single-family home. We’re trying to take pictures and video of the process and document it here for posterity. Maybe it will help others with similar projects, maybe it will encourage someone to take on a massive project of their own, or maybe it will serve as a cautionary tale. Regardless, it will be interesting. Thanks for stopping by!